Just When U Thot Ads Couldn’t Get Any Worse…

I remember way back five or six decades ago when TV was merely fuzzy black and white images on seven-inch screens. Commercials were delivered live then, and if today’s young’uns can believe it, they only interrupted each program hour for a total of two or three minutes.

Repetitious, intrusive and annoying TV ads today can hog up to 30 minutes per TV hour. Devious descendants of old-time carnival pitchmen have taken over the boob tube with cleverly updated ways to steal your money.

However, as bad as regular broadcast TV ads can be, the satanic ad geniuses who now pitch on the internet are even more devilishly creative. What happens on your computer screen when you stare at it these days makes Dick Cheney waterboarding seem like a happy day at the beach.

One example is after you click on any display, the screen is instantly overspread with an ad. It’s sneering, “Hey, stupid, ya gotta see and hear this pitch before you’re allowed to get to what you asked for.”

Among the worst happens when you want to see an online 10-item feature (i.e. Ten Best Movies). It never shows all on one page. You have to click on each separately, while annoying, endless ads jump up, each requiring more clicks to go on. There are so many, they often force your computer to freeze for a reboot.

It doesn’t take a genius to realize that today’s ads are not to inform, allowing you to make your own decisions to buy or not. Their intent is to brainwash you in ways that would make old Soviet interrogators and Dick Cheney look like amateurs.

They repeat, repeat and then repeat the same ads and slogans hammered into viewers’ brains until they mindlessly stumble out like zombies to buy the useless junk. There’s no escape as long as your glazed eyes are glued to the lighted box in front of you.

I spent a long career in advertising and sales promotion way back in the days when we created ads simply to inform people about our products. We didn’t make brainwashing ads to be played over and over again for hours, days, months and years.

By our honest and gentle advertising persuasion, we succeeded in selling our wares. Then I retired with an adequate pension and clear conscien…. Hey, wait just a damn minute! What gibberish am I scribbling here? Drat! Why didn’t I study Advertising Waterboarding 101 with Dick Cheney? Today, I could’ve been a millionaire.

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