It seems no one wants it these days, but a large apartment building that has been empty for years in this Austrian town could potentially become a tourist hotel. About 150 miles west of Vienna, Braunau Am Inn is where Adolf Hitler was born in 1889, and lived during his early years.
Some enterprising hotel mogul could take a page from Mel Brooks’ The Producers. Then, it becomes a popular destination for tourists with a sense of the dark Brooksian biting satire. Remember the outrageously nutty play-within-a-play, Springtime For Hitler?
If the fantastically creative Mel were to plan the transformation, think of the outrageous possibilities. Arriving tourists are met by booted, goose-stepping SS bellhops. Inside, glowering Gestapo clerks at Der Fuehrer Front Desk check guests in, but only brutal interrogations requiring signed confessions.
For the most important guests is the Deutschland Uber Alles Penthaus, with linens and towels creatively imprinted with swastikas and Stukas. Lower-ranked visitors stay in less luxurious Stalag Suites, decorated with picturesquely barred windows and artistically-placed leg shackles and whips on the walls.
In the hotel’s expansive Panzer Pool, guests relax on grossly-inflated Herman Goering floats. You don’t really want to know about the ovens behind the hotel’s Heinrich Himmler Café.
Footnote: Nasty sarcasm aside, Austria is a delightful destination. There are many beautiful cities, mountain vistas, lovely forests and quaint towns. When in Vienna, the atmosphere, entertainment and food will make you want to write a Strauss waltz about der schönen blauen Donau. www.wien.info/en