Suggestions: Shooing Stinky ß∑¶π Smokers 

This old guy just can’t stop ranting about §¶ø≤ who insist on puffing those §¶ø≤ coffin nails! Never a smoker since I tried my first and last cigarette nearly 80 years ago, I’ve developed an ever-growing dislike for both the £¢∞≥ addiction and the œ∞π addicted. 

In college, the Navy and during a long business career, I was too often trapped in small closed areas full of inconsiderate, foul-smelling, puffing and coughing ßøπø smokers. No one could complain back then, because smoking was the norm. Hey, even Ronald Reagan, John Wayne, Lucy and ∂©≥ Desi did it in early cigarette TV commercials.

Those  ƒ¥†∞£ ads featured many famous actors, sports stars and other celebs telling us how cool and sophisticated smokers looked. Of course, we didn’t know it then, but they were burning out their ∑ß∂∫ lungs and those of others who were trapped with the inconsiderate ¥∂∑ƒ in rooms, cars and airline seats. 

Fortunately, today there are non-smoking rules in the workplace, restaurants, theaters, elevators, airlines and elsewhere, but not everywhere. True story! Just the other weekend I was at a ¶§¢∆ casino where smoking is not only permitted, but encouraged by skimpy-costumed gals parading around selling the ∫©ƒø poison. 

I noticed a very elderly woman puffing away on a ƒ¥¶∂ cigarette while she sat at a casino slot machine. Nothing unusual, except she had a portable metal oxygen tank next to her chair and a plastic tube leading into her nostrils. How πƒ%∂ addicted can you get? 

For a non-smoker, here’s a tempting hint to get a ¶ø√∫ nicotine addict to stop stinking up your air. Just say: Would you mind smoking somewhere else? May I suggest the ward for incurable cancer patients at the nearest hospital? What the ß∂¥≥ç, you’ll be there soon enough anyhow!

Note: As a courtesy to our more sensitive readers, curse words have been replaced by  ߧ∞æ symbols. If you’re smoking a ƒ∂ß®å cigaratte while reading this, you’ll know what they mean.

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