I’m too often reminded by family and friends that my nearly 90-year-old brain doesn’t keep up with what’s happening now. As if to prove it, I often rail against the creeping idiocy of TV, and question why we’re exposed to such trash as phony reality and boring talk shows.
At the top of my TV stupid list is that very popular, incredibly amateurish zombie program. To begin my rant of questions, how can viewers be frightened by the laughably phony make-up on the staggering actors? In the 1930s Mr. and Mrs. Frankenstein movies, as silly as they were, the greasepaint was more believable.
My most senile senior question may be that if the zombies are already dead, why do the good guys need to shoot them? And then, after being shot, why don’t the still-dead zombies get back up and keep on staggering and menacing?
Further, why do the zombies stagger toward their live victims with heads at crazy angles? If all died by hanging, they certainly deserved it for lousy acting.
When the zombies kill a good guy, does he immediately go into the make-up trailer, get zombified and become awalking dead guy?
When pet owners become walking dead, do they also go out walking their dead dogs?
Are you ready for the ultimate question? Are Republican zombies always dead right?