About Starbucks’ Latest Fancy Lattes, Teas And Stuff

  

I never understood why today’s tea and coffee are no longer just tea and coffee. I just saw an ad for Teavana, and am even more confused about the Starbucks product in my already foggy, almost-90-year-old brain. The full name is Caffeine-Free Teavana® Oprah Cinnamon Chai Tea Latté. 

Hey, if I wanted a hot cup of that long-worded brew, I’d just point to the sign. Otherwise, it would be cold before I could finish stuttering my order. I also ponder, what the hell has rabid Democrat Oprah Winfrey to do with any kind of tea party?

I can’t find a price for the brew listed anywhere on the ads, but assume it’ll cost about $6, and typical of latté, may be served as only measly half a cupfull. That’s a hell of a lot to pay for a tea, even at today’s ever-hiking prices. I can still remember when it was a nickel a cup at Horn and Hardart’s automat in Philly.

However, the promotion does promise that some of the purchase money will go to the Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy. I assume it’s for poor kids who could each eat a week of healthy lunches on what a cup of the Starbucks fancy tea and a slice of pie costs today.

Whenever I go into a Starbucks café, it’s to get pie and a simple cup of tea with lemon. As for latté (French for loaded with fatty milk or even fatter cream), especially the coffee ones, I don’t drink the stuff. Growing up, I never liked the taste nor smell of coffee. 

The only time I ever drank the bitter brew was way back many decades ago when on Navy sea duty, and had an 0000 to 0400 dog watch on a cold, wind-swept deck. Then, if the cup had a lot of sugar and condensed milk in it, the coffee was almost drinkable. More important, it kept me from falling asleep on duty, and that could’ve resulted in a nasty court martial and brig time.

Today, despite the heavy coffee odors, I go into Starbucks for the upscale atmosphere. In the café I’m ecstatically surrounded by a bunch of eager young mocha sippers, all diligently punching their laptops, tablets and smartphones. Just knowing I’m among future billionaire tech moguls, medical specialists, industry CEOs, political leaders and university presidents makes the visit an inspiration.

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