Why I’d Vote For Hillary Clinton

If the presidential elections were held today, my ballot check mark would be for Hillary Clinton. As a matter of fact, I’ll be age 90 in a week, and not sure I’ll still be around to schlepp to the polls on that November day in 2016. 
Therefore, I ask indulgence for my lame attempt at Hillaryousness to send her back to the White House, this time as commander-in-chief and boss of the free world. I’d vote for Mrs. Clinton because:
1.Whenever seen with Bill, you can hear her teeth grinding as endlessly, while under her breath, she sings “Stand By Your §¶∆∑Ω Man”. 

2. Hillary wouldn’t ever have THAT kind of surgery nor change her name/gender/initials to Karlin K. Kardashian.

3. She wears a cash-green, always-flowing, non-restrictive undergarment called the Clinton Foundation.

4. She swears she never dated an Italian dude named Ben Gazzi.

5. If Hillary ever shot an arrow into the air, it would never fall to earth and kill Cecil the beloved lion.

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