Old Guy Rants About Boob-Tube Brainwashing

This nine-decades-old scribbler had to stop watching the nightly news for health reasons. Not because of doctor’s orders, but so as not to fall prey to TV’s brainwashing away my mental health.
TV’s beancounting ad geeks, who constantly play with their demographics and other extremities, have decided that most TV evening news watchers are between age 55 and deceased. Thus, for every five on-air minutes of actual news or entertainment, there must be at least five minutes of miraculously phony medical messages, aimed at we senior citizens.

Among other benefits, the products (called snake oil by old-time peddlers) will smoothe wrinkles, regrow head hair, erase body hair, enhance sex lives, reduce back pain, relieve constipation, dam-up diarrhea, absorb wee-wee and take off blubber. Of course, they’re absolutely guaranteed, as pitched by seriously phony senior actors portraying real people.

The ad geeks want to be absolutely certain that their messages are fully absorbed into our enfeebled and aged brains. Therefore, as a selfless public service, they repeat the same annoying ads endless times a day for weeks, months and years.

Actually, their real motive is very similar to the old trick of brainwashing. With enough repeats laundering their brains, TV addicts will march out like zombies and buy the products. Nazi and Soviet torturers would be proud of their worthy ad agency descendants in today’s TV commercial gulag.

Is the on-air brainwashing also effective on TV addicts still in their prime years? Actually, younger Americans are quite bright and can recite in great detail the latest arrest record of Justin Bieber and conjugate current Kardashian marriages. Of course, most cannot name a single member of the Supreme Court nor the capital city of of their state. 

The brainwashing is getting worse. Along with the big box TVs, where watching was merely 10 or so hours a day, tiny TV boxes have taken over. Attention spans are ever-decreasing because ever-increasing misnamed smartphones are now 24-7 glued to brains, ears, eyes and mouths. 

TV ads follow us everywhere. Whether young and old, we’re bombarded with endless commercials. They’re ever with us as we walk, drive, talk, selfie, text and sext on our miniature boob tubes. Oh, the humanity!

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