TSA Will Never Fail Ya As They Fondle Your Genitalia

Recent headlines about airport security line groping weren’t news to those of us who fly frequently. It was yet another instance of some horny Transportation Security Administration agents who were fired for inappropriately groping passengers just for the thrill of it all.

Has the TSA’s work become as laughably ineffective as those of horny Coney Island cops who inspected skimpy swimsuits back in the 1920s? More seriously, consider the average pay of a TSA airport agent today is $40,000, and there are about 50,000 of them.

Those grinning airport security geeks poke and prod our most private parts. It too often seems official practice that agents are required to inspect crotches of little old ladies in wheelchairs, babies and other dangerous-looking passengers. Do they really expect to find terrorist bombs hidden in diapers and Depends?

Maybe I’m being just a bit too unkind to those upstanding, well-trained TSA agents when I say that I believe they have become totally unnecessary. It has been 15 years since the destruction of New York’s twin towers, and when the TSA was created out of fear, it could happen again.

However, by this late date, it’s certain that no squadron of airport Keystone Kops could stop any determined suicide terrorist or nutcase pilot. Terrorists don’t have to go through security to destroy any airplane on the ground, in the air or anywhere else.

Beyond the headlines about inappropriate genitalia fondling, the government should take the time to assess whether the entire TSA program’s effectiveness needs to be reconsidered, or even totally disbanded. At this point, is the agency actually doing anything other than spending billions of dollars for minimum protection at best?

Other than making flying a pleasure again, what would firing all of them mean to taxpayers if our government made better use of the money? Do the math and figure how many undocumented anchor babies would all those dollars feed, clothe, educate — and eventually get them government jobs.

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