Hey, guys, we just won some medals for doing the backstroke, butterfly and crawl! Let’s go out on the town of Rio and do some serious breaststroke! And, if too much of that Brazilian booze gets to us, we’ll just pay off the local cops and judges.
We’re making gazillions of bucks to pose for Wheaties boxes, Nike sneakers and other commercials. And like Hillary and the Donald, there will be more gazillions to grab when we get back home. They’ll pile it on us just to read teleprompter speeches at political gatherings, conventions and graduations.
Question: Will these guys lose their medals for this shame they’ve caused to the Olympics spirit, and worse, to the United States? Of course not. Like politics, today’s Olympic Games are all about money, and more money when produced in cities such as totally corrupt Rio.
It wasn’t always so. Way back in the 1912 Olympics, Native American athlete Jim Thorpe won two golds. Then he was found guilty of earning money as a pro athlete, and the medals were taken away. Actually, his offense was playing semi-pro baseball one summer for a couple hundred bucks.
Many of today’s Olympians are career pros in basketball, tennis and golf. To them, participating in the games, now perfectly legal, is just a short break from earning gazillions in their regular sports seasons and for endorsements.
The official Olympics motto is Citius, Altius, Fortius. That’s Latin for Faster, Higher, Stronger. Maybe it should be changed to Faster Pub Crawling, Higher Boozing, Stronger Political Pay-Offs.