(I wrote this corny lesson more than 30 years ago when teaching a management class. The musical theme was intended to make it more palatable to my students)
1. Play the right tune: Don’t go into a pleading song-and-dance routine. Prepare a convincing pitch, get a one-on-one appointment and put on your best performance. Avoid an opening scene of dramatic griping and complaining. Be instantly clear that you deserve the raise because of your harmonious relationships with fellow employees and melodious value to the company.
2. Turkey in the straw: At the interview, don’t gobble on about all the wrongs done to you, and squawk that others less deserving have been given raises. Keep your pitch perfect and upbeat so you won’t ruffle any management feathers.
3. Don’t fiddle around: Be positive and logical. If your performance hits the wrong note and makes the boss tune you out, you’ve lost. Even when you’re absolutely right, there will be no harmony in the meeting, and you can warble a swan song to your career.
4. Don’t try a stand-up solo: If you do it with jokes and stories, it’s just wasting your busy boss’ time. Take the initiative in controlling the theme of the meeting, and you’ll make the boss dance to your tune.
5. Face the music: After you’ve made your best pitch, and the boss refuses to grant the raise, make the ending a positive finale. If you really deserve more money, the boss will know it. Give him/her time to think over the performance, and then you’ll most likely get invited back for an encore.
Final cue: When your lyrical interview earns the financial applause and you get the raise, don’t just lean back and enjoy it. Conduct every future task with a harmonious attitude to prove you’ve scored at solid hit.