Gotta Love Them Riotously Ungrammatic Ads

I actually enjoy reading the notes on comments pages of news websites. The childish anger, bad spelling, inane capitalization and locker room cursing all combine into an English teacher’s worst nightmare.

The very best are the obviously phony ads slipped in by foreign writers whose English is not a second, nor third nor even fourth language. For example, here’s an actual, unedited one that appeared recently:

I am creating an honest wage from home 1900 Dollars/week , that is wonderful, below a year agone i used to be unemployed during a atrocious economy. I convey God on a daily basis i used to be endowed these directions and currently it’s my duty to pay it forward and share it with everybody, Here is I started…..

After reading these delightful testimonials, my first thoughts are: how could any reader be stupid enough to respond to them? However, because this type of internet scam has been going on for years, it must attract responses and soon-to-disappear money.

Therefore, as prices on everything continue to rise, while my limited pension income buys less and less, this former editor may decide to join the ranks of those ambitious internet authors. Would you respond to my first educated attempt?

I was starving elder man before I join. In just too monthes I made tenn tousind dollers on internut. Happi today I kan affoard to bye fooode and liv like prezedenshal candydate on mi yachit. For compleat instrukshuns on hoo to do it, just put 50$ cash in a envulope and male it to me at…….

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