I Enjoy Old TV, But Too Many Ads & Less Sitcom

In my advanced sunset years, I spend hours lolling in front of the big flickering light box. I don’t watch current TV because of mumbling actors, ear-splitting music and confusing camera jerks. And, of course, all the depressing political and war news.

Fortunately, some cable stations still rerun vintage sitcoms. Watching them is just like visits with beloved old friends. However, there’s a brain-challenging pain when attempting to enjoy those familiar old shows.

Hey, Lucy, Raymond, Archie, Seinfeld, Sheriff Andy and Red (Foxx and/or Skelton). When your 30-minute programs were first broadcast way back when, they averaged 28 minutes of sitcom and two minutes of commercials.

According to recent research, most of today’s vintage sitcom reruns feature 15 minutes of program and 15 tiresome minutes of ads. Making them even more frustrating, the exact same ads for such products as gas-guzzling cars and/or gas-reducing pills are repeated two or three times during the same 30 minutes. And on and on, minute by minute, hour by hour, month by month.

By pounding the same hypnotic messages into our addled heads hundreds of times, the repeated ads are designed to take total control of our minds. Back in the days of Soviet Russian gulags, it was called brainwashing.

The ad agencies know we TV addicts will then mindlessly buy their phony products. Er … pardon me, I have a date tomorrow night with a sexy 88-year-old lady. Gotta run out now to buy a bottle of that miracle performance enhancer I see advertised on TV every minute of every hour of every day.

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