Super Bowl Seat Tickets Reach Record High!

Would you believe they’re charging as much as $6,000 each? Questions: 1. Who the hell is rich and/or stupid enough to pay such outrageous prices? 2. Will Patriots’ quarterback Tom Brady use a deflated football in the game of such inflated ticket prices?

Super Bowl LI (that’s 51 if you flunked Roman numerals class) kicks off Sunday, February 5, at NRG Stadium in Houston TX (that’s Texas if you flunked post office abbreviations). We sincerely hope those Trumpishly wealthy fans in the grossly overpriced seats will enjoy their $25 bottles of beer and $10 hot dogs. And then after the game, march royally to the parking lot to pick up their Cadillacs, Lamborghinis or Ferraris after paying $50 to park for three hours.

Can any old sports fans out there remember the first Super Bowl in 1967 at the Los Angeles Memorial Stadium? Then the best seat price was an expensive $12, with hot dogs and beer each 25¢. Of course, the average new house then sold for $19,000, a brand new Ford Falcon Futura was $2,437 and a gallon of gas was 32¢.

As for my football fan plan, on this year’s Super Bowl Sunday I’ll slump back comfortably on my living room couch. I’ll watch the game for free while drinking a $1 bottle of beer and chomping on a 50¢ hot dog. My only problem is choosing which team to cheer for: The Brady Bunch or Von Ryan’s Express?

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