Nearing my 92nd birthday, for health reasons I’ve had to stop watching the evening news. It isn’t because of doctor’s orders, but gotta switch off the boob tube because all the pseudo-medical commercials are getting even more sickening.
The network beancounting geeks who constantly play with their demographics and other extremities have decided that most TV evening news watchers are between age 55 and deceased. Thus, for every on-air five minutes of actual real-life happenings, there must be at least five minutes of miraculous medical messages. Many are aimed at senior citizens to be conned into buying the useless junk.
Among other benefits, the products (called snake oil by old-time peddlers) will erase wrinkles, regrow head hair, erase body hair, enhance sex lives, reduce back pain, relieve constipation, dam-up diarrhea and take off blubber. They’re absolutely guaranteed, as testified by sincere on-air actors portraying real people.
The pitched products will miraculously restore the health of every TV addict, including those elders not quite at death’s door. Further, the ad geeks can’t be too sure that their messages are fully absorbed into our enfeebled brains. Therefore, as a selfless public service, they repeat the same ads endless times a day for weeks, months and years.
Actually, their real motive is the old trick of basic brainwashing. With enough repeats laundering brains, TV addicts will march out like mindless undead and buy the products. Torturers during the reigns of Mao and Joe Stalin couldn’t have been more efficient in getting the mind-melting job done.
What about today’s TV addicts? In addition to capturing old minds and wallets, is brainwashing effective also on those still in their prime? Younger Americans can recite in great detail the latest scandal regarding Justin Bieber or explain the current Kardashian soap opera.
However, most can’t name a single member of the Supreme Court nor the capital city of Maine. Attention spans are ever decreasing because of the ever-increasing tiny electronic gear, inaccurately called smartphones, glued to young ears and eyes. Is that the end of their watching ads on big-screen TV as they once did from the comfort of their couches?
Hell, no! The flood of sickening health pitches now follows them everywhere. They’re still bombarded with endless commercials as they walk, drive, text and sext into their miniature boob tubes.