Internet Pitch: Warning Signs Of Dementia

Current online ads selling some miracle meds list fearsome predictions. They claim to reveal what happens to an elderly nutcase when the old brain begins to fade away.

From personal day-to-day experience, this 91-year-old ancient mariner has compiled his own list. Therefore, you know you’re getting demented or are being visited by Dr. Al S. Heimer when:

You voted for Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton.

Sex has faded from your mind, and now is just a word on your application form to the nursing home.

You fail to recognize members of your family, especially those who ask you for money.

You’re beginning to believe the miracle sex enhancement drug pitches on TV infomercials.

You scan the newspaper’s obit page daily, hoping you won’t see your name there.

You realize how dumb-ass you are when you try to use a smart-phone.

You try to straighten out the wrinkles in your shorts and discover you aren’t wearing any.

Sitting down for breakfast you hear snap, crackle, pop, and you’re not eating cereal.

The image you see in the bathroom mirror now looks like your driver’s license picture.

Getting lucky means your monthly Social Security check lasted a whole month.

You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.

You have more patience waiting to use the bathroom, but actually you don’t give a crap anymore.

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