Of course, to make a living, your parents told you to be successful you had to stay awake in school. Also be respectful, comb your hair and brush your teeth. Now in my 90s, I finally realize there are other much more effective ways to get rich. Here are some:
1. Get your sorry ass dragged off a United flight and hire a crooked lawyer.
2. Take a baby buggy aboard an American Airlines flight and get hit by attendant.
3, While innocently rioting in the streets and looting stores, get shot by a cop.
4. If a woman, entice a horny Bill: O’Reilly, Clinton and/or Cosby, hire a crooked lawyer and earn a lot of $10,000 Bills.
5. Write make-money-from-home scam ads with horrible English grammar and post online.
6. Dress up as a phony Disney character and panhandle on NYC’s Broadway or LA’s Hollywood Boulevard.
7. Put on a ragged old army uniform, hire a cute little kid and soulful dog. Look pitiful and beg in front of Trump Tower.
8. Marry a future president with billions of bucks and hire a crooked (is there any other kind?) divorce lawyer to get millions of bucks.
9. Get good at a school playground ballgame as a kid, better as a teen and then sign a major league contract for multi-millions of bucks.
10. Squawk angry gutter language into a mike and marry a Kardashian.