Scientist Claims To Bring Back Brain Dead

According to the London Daily Mail, a bombastic Russian biologist is gathering with U.S. sponsors to work on his theory. They claim they already have recruited volunteers to die and be revived.

With injections of his magic process, Bioquark, the mad doctor says he can reanimate people who’ve been declared medically deceased. Can you imagine the chaos this will cause?

But, Mr. Reagan, just because you’re revived doesn’t mean you can run in and kick Mr. Trump out of the White House!

Hey, reanimated Elvis, get off the stage! At least let Kanye complete his wailing before you stomp over in your blue suede shoes.

Sorry, restored grandpa. I already spent all your money. With the funeral and burial, I thought you were permanently deceased

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