Author Archives: Ted Sherman

About Ted Sherman

I turn 92 on August 8, 2017. After a lifetime writing for other people, I finally hung out my own shingle and share old guy opinions with the world. A grad of the University of the Arts and University of Pennsylvania, I served in the Navy 1943-46, and recalled to active duty in the Korean War 1951-53. I then spent 35 years in public relations, advertising and sales promotion. "90 Is The New Black" is my daily rant on current news, sports, health, travel, careers, entertainment, sports, relationships and, of course, problems of advanced age. I retired in 1990. Since then, I've posted more than 10,000 creative articles, photos and cartoons on editorial websites and other media. In addition to this site, I post two articles daily on travel4seniors.com

Old Guy Opinion: D.J. Trump Is Today’s W.C. Fields

Not many people today are old enough to remember the movie comedian of the 1930s and 40s. However, when considering both performers, in addition to their uncanny physical resemblance, their personalities seem very similar.

For example, W.C. Fields started his career as a circus juggler and clown, while Trump often clownishly juggles the truth in his Twittering. Both performers are famous for their air of self importance, bragging and bombastic words.

Compare some Fields vs Trump quotes:
Fields: I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
Trump: I don’t like losers.
Fields: I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.
Trump: In Japan, they bow. Only thing I love about Japan.
Fields: If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
Trump: I’ve been very successful. Everybody loves me.

Note: W.C. actually did make a comical faux try for the White House, and published a tongue-in-cheek book, Fields for President. It was in 1940, when Franklin D. Roosevelt was running for his historic and controversial 3nd term. Today’s Democrats can only pray the same situation doesn’t happen with President Trump in 2020, 2024, 2028 and….and….

Scaramucci New Trump Communications Director

Does that name conjure up memories of a fictional swashbuckler, Scaramouche? The 18th Century French hero is from a 1921 book by Rafael Sabatini, and was featured in a movie in 1952. Today’s Anthony Scaramucci may have to do some heavy swashbuckling to improve the Donald Trump image.

However, these quotes from the Sabatini book seem to eerily describe Donald Trump. Will Scaramucci be able to communicate some Scaramouche bravery to succeed in his job? Consider:

He was born with a gift of laughter and a sense that the world was mad.

Man never changes. He is always greedy, always acquisitive, always vile.

The stuff that makes fools of princes and princes of fools is money!

Candid Coincidences: Do You See All Of Them?

On my twice-daily hikes along Santa Monica Boulevard in West Hollywood CA, this old foto freak is always on the alert. I snap only unposed scenes that happen just once and never again.

Here’s a recent example, with all of the following in one inclusive shot: Yellow lily blossom, tattooed ear-budded hiker, determined biker, white birch tree branch, and in upper windows across the avenue, reflection of a girl diver statue.

O.J. Simpson To Walk Free After 9 Years In Jail

He was acquitted in one of the most notorious murder trials in U.S. history in the 1990s. However, the former football star was later convicted and imprisoned for a strong-arm robbery in Las Vegas.

Now, after serving nine years in a minimum-security Nevada jail, within a couple of months, O.J. will walk free. Of course, the heavy suspicion that he killed his wife and her friend will never be lifted from his now 70-year-old shoulders.

As a parolee, it isn’t likely O.J. will need to stand in a bread line and spend nights sleeping on the street. He’s already swamped by speaker bookers and reality TV offers. At what could be $50k or more per performance, he can spend his sunset years in comfort.

Since the days of vaudeville when parent killer Lizzie Borden performed, other notorious people have made money on stage. Consider some of the current crop, including Sarah Palin, Al Gore, the Kardashians, Hillary and Bill Clinton. Soon O.J. will join them in the lucrative speech and TV racket.

Scientist Claims To Bring Back Brain Dead

According to the London Daily Mail, a bombastic Russian biologist is gathering with U.S. sponsors to work on his theory. They claim they already have recruited volunteers to die and be revived.

With injections of his magic process, Bioquark, the mad doctor says he can reanimate people who’ve been declared medically deceased. Can you imagine the chaos this will cause?

But, Mr. Reagan, just because you’re revived doesn’t mean you can run in and kick Mr. Trump out of the White House!

Hey, reanimated Elvis, get off the stage! At least let Kanye complete his wailing before you stomp over in your blue suede shoes.

Sorry, restored grandpa. I already spent all your money. With the funeral and burial, I thought you were permanently deceased

Washington DC: Doctor Dignified Death Decision

Hey, grandpa and grandma. Try this nice cool cocktail Dr. Sawbones just prescribed. Or the nurse with the long needle guarantees to give you a nice long nap. And then we’ll always think kindly of you old guys later when we’re out spending all your money.

The so-called Death With Dignity Act of 2016 for the Nation’s Capital City will go into effect when the President signs it. And then, nice Washington families of terminally ill locals over age 18 can activate a doctor’s needle or prescription to send them off to permanent dreamland. With dignity, of course.

Therefore, loving relatives, be sure to heed the instructions. You’re not allowed to do the deadly deed in a public place. That means don’t off grandpa while he’s boozing at his fave downtown pub. Nor should you rub out grandma while she’s dining on the senior special platter at Denny’s.

A final thought about death with dignity in Washington DC. Can you name any terminally brain-dead politicians there who richly deserve the honor much more than your grandma and grandpop?

Delta Airlines: Ann Coulter Bumped From Seat

The fiery Republican spokeswoman booked an economy ticket on a Delta flight. When she was about to get all comfy in the cheap seat, an attendant ordered her to move to allow another passenger to take it. Ann Coulter let her feelings be known in angry online rants.

Unlike most of we peasant flyers, super-wealthy Coulter can well afford a big, wide, lay-back private first-class compartment on any flight. She earns huge bucks from her news columns, popular book sales and $50,000 speeches at universities and conventions.

Why she booked a cheap seat hasn’t yet been revealed. Lucky for Ms. Coulter, United didn’t take the next step in punishing her for complaining. Fortunately, she wasn’t beaten, dragged down the aisle and tossed off the flight. So, what to do if it happens to you?

Agree to move, but always ask politely if you could take an unsold seat in a higher-class section. It usually works for this old traveler when I must give up my cheap seat, and I fly more comfortably without extra charge.

Flight attendants have a tough job, and frequently must cope with this kind of disruption. Therefore, some understanding and cooperation from a reasonable passenger can often bring favorable results to all involved.

Anyhow, if your seating problem isn’t resolved to your satisfaction at flight time, don’t rant at the attendant and complain online. Provide all details to your travel agent and the airline’s officials. It could result in some nice dollars and/or future free flights.