Category Archives: Uncategorized

How To Make A $mart Career Change

The first priority: Cash, moolah, bucks, greenbacks, bread! Let’s get real. Money should be the most important factor involved in changing careers. Whatever other questions to ask yourself, begin with: will looking for a new job bring me higher income?

It may sound crass to an idealistic young person just starting out in the job market. Unfortunately, this is often a college grad who has already made the mistake of earning an academic degree.

Your proud diploma will list a major of poly sci, history, fine art and similar dreamworld. When applying for jobs, the liberal arts grad has to ask: what the hell am I supposed to do now to earn a living?

For those already employed, the best choice is to stay on the job while preparing to move up and, if necessary, out. In my half-century in the management field, when meeting job applicants, there was always a basic truth.

The one who is already working and seeking a new job is always considered the better candidate. It may not be fair, but I often dismissed the job seeker who shows up with an academic degree in English lit, art history or birdwatching.

Some applicants arrive with a hang-dog attitude, an air of desperation, and too often, an obviously hyped-up resumé. Employers get that right away. So, the best advice for making a successful career change is first get yourself qualified to meet the requirements of the new job.

If you’re right out of college or high school with nothing more than good grades in academic subjects, get some training or higher education in a practical field. If already working and want something better, use your spare time for further practical education, so you can qualify for the climb up the success ladder.

When job hunting, your first priority is to seek out ones that offer the best income. That means both immediately and with future opportunities to earn more by promotions and other moves up that steep ladder to success.

Get Rid Of All Reminders Of Civil War Bad Guys!

While we’re waving signs, blocking traffic, looting stores and tearing down historic statues of Civil War and slave-owner leaders, we shouldn’t stop there. Gotta cleanse the nation of every reminder of historic rebel monuments and the horse they rode in on.

Therefore, I propose that after we’ve rioted, looted and destroyed everything honoring them gawd-awful dudes, let’s wipe out Southern Comfort, Lee Jeans, stone walls, Dixie cups and, of course, slave bracelets.

Win Or Lose: Politicos Make Millions As Orators

Are you watching Hillary pitch her book on all the network news shows? She’s great! Gotta hand it to her! In fact, whatever she does these days gotta result in her greedy hand out for mucho dinero.

Her regular charge for making a 30-minute speech is $250k, plus travel, hotel and other expenses. Go for it, Hillary! Even grossly overpaid pro sports jocks squat down on one knee in jealous respect for her cash-earning abilities.

And to make sure dire poverty doesn’t overwhelm the Clinton household, Bill gets the same amount as wife Hillary for his speeches. Poor Chelsea charges only $65,000, but hey, give her time to learn the trade. She hasn’t done anything scandalous yet.

In case you’re looking for a greedy politician to give a speech at your next church or Kiwanis Club meeting, consider others and their modest fees: Mitt Romney $68k, Newt Gingrich, Dick Cheney $75k, Sarah Palin $100k, Rudy Giuliani $100k, Condoleezza Rice, George W. Bush, Colin Powell $150k, Arnold Schwarzenegger $250k and bargain barker Donald Trump $400k.

And don’t fret about ex-prez Barack Obama. Not to be outdone by the new White House resident, he also grabs $400k.

NFL Kneelers: It’s Their Right As Citizens To Protest

Why are all those patriotic people getting their britches knotted when those snooty, grossly overpaid pro football jocks kneel during the National Anthem? Actually, the law says they can stand on their heads, burn the American flag, wee wee on it or wipe their nether regions with it.

Instead of anger, we should understand their motives to protest. It’s simply a normal human trait, call it rich man arrogance. For those rich NFL guys, hauling in millions of bucks a year to play schoolyard games for a couple of months, it’s an impossible golden dream come true.

Most of the NFL kneelers are from poor African-American families, and in boyhood could never dream of growing up from dire poverty to unbelievable wealth. Their egos start to blossom when they show skills in high school games. And more so when they miraculously qualify for scholarships to learned universities with big budget sports programs.

That’s when the arrogance is first planted in their nubile young brains. While other college students must study and attend classes, they’re out on the practice field honing football skills. After winning games, they strut around the campus and bask in the admiration of the less-talented students.

Then the NFL invades the campus, scouting for new talent. The still-poor athletes are suddenly plied with multi-million-dollar offers, along with commercial endorsements and other ways to fill their soon-to-be bulging pockets.

Is it any wonder why they become so arrogant and eager to break away from patriotic traditions, to show their inflated self-importance. Now, with greatly enlarged egos, kneeling during the National Anthem gives them a chance to make a proud screw-you display. And gain even more satisfaction knowing they’re offending the hell out of those jealous racial oppressors.

The cash-happy jocks are just following the ancient tradition of snotty rich man vs lowly poor man. The wealthy have been doing the same superiority routine throughout human history, first with kings and emperors. And now, wealthy athletes, business tycoons, rock squawkers and blond-wigged politicians.

These days the most snotty are white family members who inherited billions. They boast last names of Rockefeller, Rothschild, Dreyfus, Bush, Roosevelt, DuPont, Hilton. They’re born arrogant, so we shouldn’t be critical of those nouveau riche jocks behaving in the same offensive way.

They’re just learning how to be irritatingly snotty by sneering like traditional rich kids. Hey, look at me, squatting on one knee! Therefore, you peasant sports fans, like it or lump it! Next, I may publicly pee on a statue of slave owner Georgie Washington!

Irma Did It: Old Folks Dead In Nursing Home

The hurricane knocked out electricity in the Florida area for several days. The newspapers are all bent out of shape because it allegedly caused the deaths of those dearly departed elderly patients.

Hey, newsies, let’s get real. In any nursing home, in any week, anywhere in the US, residents die. They’re there because the families can no longer take care of the very elderly people, and along with the adult diapers, send them to that final destination.

Visit a nursing home at any time, and all you’ll see are comatose, bedridden elderly and walking skeletons shuffling mindlessly in the hallways. Then, they die. Of course, it’s tragic for the family when the inevitable happens just days, weeks or months after the old people are brought there to die.

It’s even more heartbreaking for the sad nursing home owners, because the deaths cause the outrageous fees of $5,000 a month per patient to suddenly cease. Oh, the humanity!

Hillary Clinton Making Millions On “How I Lost”

Her lecture tour about losing the election is expected to bring Hillary enormous riches. Conor McGregor, who just lost that dance contest to Floyd Mayweather made more than $100 million.

What if other losers in history had profited by having their butts kicked? For example:

Napoleon after Waterloo: My millions for loser speaker fees are tucked safely here in my shirt.
Cornwallis vs Washington in Yorktown: Damn it! I wanted to call that new city Cornwallis DC!
Kaiser Wilhelm after World War 1: OK, we lost. Let’s get another guy with a funny mustache and try again in another 20 years.
Hitler in WW2 Berlin Bunker: Nope, Willy, we lost our deutscher arsches again.
Robert E. Lee: Now that the damn Yankees won the Civil War, they’ll go on to win all those World Series.
David vs Goliath: Dave won because I was stoned.
Czar Nicholas vs Lenin: Ty che, blyad! I lost at Russian roulette.