Tag Archives: Donald Trump

Saturday Night Live Goes Anti-Semitic, Sort Of

Current revelations indicate that many Jewish Hollywood producers, past and present, did the casting couch routine. Producer/writer Larry David attempted some lame jokes about it when he performed on a recent SNL program. And the current list of ethnic abusers goes on: Harvey Weinstein, Bob Weinstein, Roman Polanski, James Toback and others.

Nothing new here. They’re emulating early Hollywood casting couch moguls: David O. Selznick, Harry Cohn, Sam Goldwyn, Sam Spiegel and the Warner Brothers. Judy Garland claimed Louis B. Mayer tried to seduce her when she auditioned at age 15 for the role of Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz.

A final word: Actually, it wasn’t because they were Jewish that made those horny producers into seducers. Their religion had nothing to do with it. Like Bill Cosby, Bill Clinton and Donald Trump, with such ugly faces and bloated bodies, it was the only way they could get lucky lay-downs with lovely ladies.

More Statues Coming Down: Now Ex-Philly Mayor Frank Rizzo

I grew up, attended college and worked in the City of Brotherly Love, and remember it had the usual line-up of corrupt politicians. However, one tough, loud-mouthed guy emerged from South Philly’s Italian neighborhood to become an effective, almost-honest mayor. After being an effective cop who rose to police commissioner, he served as top dog in city hall from 1972 to 1980.

Now, 25 years after his death, groups labeling Rizzo a racist want his statue near City Hall to come crashing down. This puts him in the class with others on the list of evil racists and slave owners, including Egyptian pharaohs, George Washington, Stonewall Jackson, Al Jolson, Scarlett O’Hara, Robert E. Lee and Simon Legree.

Bigoted or not, Francis L. Rizzo had something in common with at least two other famous politicians. Like Ron (Reagan) and Don (Trump), Frank was a lifelong Democrat until he matured into a Republican in his later years.

Renaming Of Places Honoring Old Rebs Continues

Now it’s a politically-correct Texas high school that had been named for Robert E. Lee. However, instead of just dumping the general’s name, the local officials came up with a clever way to ace out the general while keeping a bit of his memory. Now, the school is the Legacy of Educational Excellence. Get it? L.E.E.

So, what will happen several generations into the future, when politically-correct protesters want to erase the names of other controversial past leaders? Can we expect a school in an area populated by many documented and undocumented immigrant kids to be renamed The Really Unusual Melting Pot? Get it?

Didja Know: Hair Is A Critical Factor In History

Today’s most bombastic headlines feature two world leaders threatening each other with hair-raising destruction. One wears an orange toupee with flowing locks on top and down the back collar. The other has the sides of his head shaved, making him look like a tubby jailbird.

Those two are just the latest to make hairy history. There have been many others. Strong guy Sampson, an early hirsute, could win any battle until Delilah gave him a haircut. Rapunzel was locked in that tall tower until she let down her hair for the climbing prince.

Lady Godiva rode through Coventry naked, covered only by her long hair. One sneaky look by Peeping Tom caused him to go blind. During World War 2, Germany’s Hitler sported his Charlie Chaplin moustache and loose lock of hair, while Russia’s Stalin glowered with his hairy handlebar.

Today, we see rap stars featuring all kinds of kinky hair in many colors, shapes and flows. Meanwhile, grossly overpaid pro football jocks squat during the National Anthem while their enormous hair-dos rise in patriotic respect for their bank accounts.

Win Or Lose: Politicos Make Millions As Orators

Are you watching Hillary pitch her book on all the network news shows? She’s great! Gotta hand it to her! In fact, whatever she does these days gotta result in her greedy hand out for mucho dinero.

Her regular charge for making a 30-minute speech is $250k, plus travel, hotel and other expenses. Go for it, Hillary! Even grossly overpaid pro sports jocks squat down on one knee in jealous respect for her cash-earning abilities.

And to make sure dire poverty doesn’t overwhelm the Clinton household, Bill gets the same amount as wife Hillary for his speeches. Poor Chelsea charges only $65,000, but hey, give her time to learn the trade. She hasn’t done anything scandalous yet.

In case you’re looking for a greedy politician to give a speech at your next church or Kiwanis Club meeting, consider others and their modest fees: Mitt Romney $68k, Newt Gingrich, Dick Cheney $75k, Sarah Palin $100k, Rudy Giuliani $100k, Condoleezza Rice, George W. Bush, Colin Powell $150k, Arnold Schwarzenegger $250k and bargain barker Donald Trump $400k.

And don’t fret about ex-prez Barack Obama. Not to be outdone by the new White House resident, he also grabs $400k.

Colorado Judge: No No To Public Sex Offender List

He declares exposing those exposers unconstitutional. And now that the sky-high mountain state has also legalized marijuana, all kinds of fun activities will break out. Many famous people are now breathing deep sighs of relief and anticipation.

To name a few celebrants of the happy news, there’s old Bill who can now openly (as in exposed zipper) cheat on Hillary. And all those brassy generals and admirals who fool with female subordinates can now freely sexually offend. They won’t have to worry about having their swords broken and then be drummed out of the fortress.

How about all those piously religious icons who can now conduct uninterrupted masses and messings with choir boys. Also, movie and TV moguls will be permitted to conduct more intimate interviews with aspiring young actresses.

And, of course, our nobly horny President will be legally free to gently grab girly genitals to his heart’s content.

Hillary Show Tix Sell For Up To $1,200 Each

She lost the election but is presiding over a growing multi-million buck national vaudeville act. She won’t dance, sing nor do magic. Hillary will merely smirk on stage about the current hilarious shenanigans of Trump, Putin, Kim Jong-un and other more successful crooked politicians.

The advertised purpose of the 15-city tour this fall is to peddle her new book, What Happened. According to news sources, she promises to tell eager audiences her “personal, raw, detailed and surprisingly funny story.”

Hey, Hillary, I have an idea in case this circus sideshow doesn’t rake in enough sucker bucks for your enormous bank account. How about scheduling a Pay-Per-View kicking, biting and scratching match in Las Vegas with Floyd Mayweather!