Tag Archives: Donald Trump

Win Or Lose: Politicos Make Millions As Orators

Are you watching Hillary pitch her book on all the network news shows? She’s great! Gotta hand it to her! In fact, whatever she does these days gotta result in her greedy hand out for mucho dinero.

Her regular charge for making a 30-minute speech is $250k, plus travel, hotel and other expenses. Go for it, Hillary! Even grossly overpaid pro sports jocks squat down on one knee in jealous respect for her cash-earning abilities.

And to make sure dire poverty doesn’t overwhelm the Clinton household, Bill gets the same amount as wife Hillary for his speeches. Poor Chelsea charges only $65,000, but hey, give her time to learn the trade. She hasn’t done anything scandalous yet.

In case you’re looking for a greedy politician to give a speech at your next church or Kiwanis Club meeting, consider others and their modest fees: Mitt Romney $68k, Newt Gingrich, Dick Cheney $75k, Sarah Palin $100k, Rudy Giuliani $100k, Condoleezza Rice, George W. Bush, Colin Powell $150k, Arnold Schwarzenegger $250k and bargain barker Donald Trump $400k.

And don’t fret about ex-prez Barack Obama. Not to be outdone by the new White House resident, he also grabs $400k.

Colorado Judge: No No To Public Sex Offender List

He declares exposing those exposers unconstitutional. And now that the sky-high mountain state has also legalized marijuana, all kinds of fun activities will break out. Many famous people are now breathing deep sighs of relief and anticipation.

To name a few celebrants of the happy news, there’s old Bill who can now openly (as in exposed zipper) cheat on Hillary. And all those brassy generals and admirals who fool with female subordinates can now freely sexually offend. They won’t have to worry about having their swords broken and then be drummed out of the fortress.

How about all those piously religious icons who can now conduct uninterrupted masses and messings with choir boys. Also, movie and TV moguls will be permitted to conduct more intimate interviews with aspiring young actresses.

And, of course, our nobly horny President will be legally free to gently grab girly genitals to his heart’s content.

Hillary Show Tix Sell For Up To $1,200 Each

She lost the election but is presiding over a growing multi-million buck national vaudeville act. She won’t dance, sing nor do magic. Hillary will merely smirk on stage about the current hilarious shenanigans of Trump, Putin, Kim Jong-un and other more successful crooked politicians.

The advertised purpose of the 15-city tour this fall is to peddle her new book, What Happened. According to news sources, she promises to tell eager audiences her “personal, raw, detailed and surprisingly funny story.”

Hey, Hillary, I have an idea in case this circus sideshow doesn’t rake in enough sucker bucks for your enormous bank account. How about scheduling a Pay-Per-View kicking, biting and scratching match in Las Vegas with Floyd Mayweather!

Today’s Nutcase Trio: Are We In The 1930s Again?

Back then it was bad guys Hitler, Mussolini and Stalin, all drooling to conquer the world. Now, we must put up with a new crazy threesome of goofy-looking dictators: North Korea’s Kim Jong-un, the Philippines Rodrigo Duterte and America’s Donald Trump.

Almost every day, one of the new blowhards tries to outdo the others with crazy talk. Duterte just said Oxford University is “a school for stupid people” Yeah, sure. Some of really dumb grads include Stephen Hawking, Oscar Wilde, T.S. Elliot, Sir Walter Raleigh and a dozen British prime ministers.

What is it with Duterte and Trump? The more they speak the more they show they’re in jobs beyond their capabilities. And of course, even more menacing, the fat little freak in North Korea is insanely playing with nuclear weapons that could devastate the world.

Holy ¥†®ƒ! Ant’ny Scaramucci Has A Filthy Mouth

Consider the low-down gutter language the newly-ordained senior advisor to President Trump used when talking to a New Yorker reporter. Haven’t heard those kind of creative obscenities since my Navy days. So, where the hell did this ƒ∂ß∆¶§’ Harvard Law School grad and former bad-ass Wall Street banker learn such shocking words?

He never served in the military, so he didn’t acquire the ƒ∫¶§©ß language as a soldier, sailor or Marine. One clue may be that according to his bio, fellow school students gave him street-wise nicknames of Scar and Mooch. Still a relatively young guy of 53, he was raised on genteel Long Island, not New Yawk City’s Heck’s Kitchen.

So, why did former suburban youth Anthony Scaramucci acquire such language? Does he realize he sounds like Ant’ny, a toilet-mouthed movie character or tough ƒ¥†¢£ from Don Corleone’s family? And to top off all the cussing, Scaramucci’s wife just sued him for divorce. She blamed it on his “naked political ambition”. Well, OK, naked isn’t quite a dirty word, unless you do get naked and lucky with another person.

Old Guy Opinion: D.J. Trump Is Today’s W.C. Fields

Not many people today are old enough to remember the movie comedian of the 1930s and 40s. However, when considering both performers, in addition to their uncanny physical resemblance, their personalities seem very similar.

For example, W.C. Fields started his career as a circus juggler and clown, while Trump often clownishly juggles the truth in his Twittering. Both performers are famous for their air of self importance, bragging and bombastic words.

Compare some Fields vs Trump quotes:
Fields: I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
Trump: I don’t like losers.
Fields: I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.
Trump: In Japan, they bow. Only thing I love about Japan.
Fields: If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
Trump: I’ve been very successful. Everybody loves me.

Note: W.C. actually did make a comical faux try for the White House, and published a tongue-in-cheek book, Fields for President. It was in 1940, when Franklin D. Roosevelt was running for his historic and controversial 3nd term. Today’s Democrats can only pray the same situation doesn’t happen with President Trump in 2020, 2024, 2028 and….and….