The flood of show biz abuse stories and lawsuits blaring out every day are reaching ridiculous proportions. The hysteria is distorting the most basic human behavior, and just maybe, our survival.
Is this an insane rush to end sexual relations between men and women forever? Even tho horny old guys shouldn’t proposition vulnerable girls and boys, we hope young male adults will keep doing it. Or else, how will babies get here to continue the human race?
Anyhow, all this talk about those horny old guys molesting people is nothing new. It reminds us of similar sexual incidents in human history:
Cleopatra: The dirty old Pharaoh keeps grabbing my asp.
Marie Antionette: Isn’t this giving head going a bit too far?
King Midas: Girl, be thankful I touched it. Everything I touch turns to gold.
Lincoln: Four score and seven guys didn’t score.
Goliath: Hey, Dave, did you get me stoned so you could have a giant gay old time with me?
Adam: Gee, Eve, how can you accuse me of molesting another woman?
Jesus to Mary Magdalene: Cease the holier than thou routine, thou street slut!
Bill Clinton: I did not have sexual relations with that woman …. In the last hour or so.
Donald Trump: Hasn’t committed his worst sexual abuse yet, but give him time.
It’s never ending in daily news reports. Old movie execs casting-couching young actresses, dirty male actors molesting clean young boy actors. Greedy female stars and lawyers filling their wallets. And all getting worse. Rumors are now emerging that animal actors may soon hop into the fray and make shocking legal headlines:
Lassie, actually male, says he was castrated to make his bark more bitchy.
Mickey Mouse cheating on Minnie with Daisy Duck.
Trigger accusing Roy Rogers of abusive mounting.
Willie the Whale flipping off Flipper the Dolphin.
Morris the Cat transgendering into Maurine the Pussy.
Cheetah says Tarzan goes ape at swinger parties in the trees.
Babe the Pig banned from Hollywood pork barrel cash for ham acting.
Spies and counterspies are still trying to figure out if there was a deliberate attempt recently to injure our guys in Havana. The sound is described as a super-loud screech that causes nausea, pain, disorientation and yearning to get the hell out of the sneaky Commie nation.
For appropriate revenge, I suggest a similar horrifying noise be blasted continuously against Cuban diplomat ears now on duty in the U.S. Consider any annoying:
TV commercials starring Flo, Energizer Bunny, Geico Gecko or local used car pitchman
Hillary and/or Donald squawking political speech
TV commercials selling snake oil meds and cable subscriptions
Ear-splitting rock band performance
Kardashian family members screeching gossip
Roseanne Barr screaming the National Anthem
Yapping home team fans in the stands as visiting QB calls signals
Just a short distance from the posh beaches of Malibu, glittering streets of Hollywood and rich mansions of Beverly Hills, more than 5,000 homeless live on the sidewalks of Los Angeles.
I see the wanderers on daily walks along busy Santa Monica Avenue, where they trod east to downtown LA or west to Pacific Ocean beaches. At night they rest on the sidewalks, on park benches, and in makeshift tents.
Many of the homeless are veterans, some from the most recent wars in the Middle East, as well as elderly vets of earlier wars. Wouldn’t it be a happy miracle if our government decided to spend less money preparing for the next war, and use it to to decare war on the poverty in its streets.
For the past decade, China has been busy buying up American companies. It already owns the Chicago Stock Exchange, Starwood Hotels and Smithfield Hams. The deals are happening fast.
Latest news reports reveal that Paramount Pictures will soon belong to Chinese investors. Other movie and TV studios are also potential targets of the takeover. A Chinese corporation already owns the AMC theater chain, as well as the historic Grauman’s on Hollywood Boulevard.
Hmmmm. When they totally own the American film industry, will they next demand to rename all of Hollywood’s classic movies. For instance: Citizen Kong, Rickshaw Driver, The Lord of the Mings, Dances With Pandas, Lawrence of Asia, A Streetcar Named Shanghai, The Good, The Bad and the Sushi.
More movie title changes could happen: Gone With The Wonton, One Flew Over The Tofu’s Nest, Twelve Angry Chow Mein, Anne Of Green Moo Goo Gai Pan, Formosa And My Girl. And, of course, cartoon characters that must be renamed: Mandarin Mouse and Peking Duck.
Just steps away from the glamorous Sunset Strip and wealthy Beverly Hills mansions, these wanderers attempt to find peaceful places to rest on their endless journeys. If you’re considering volunteer work, spend some time with lost souls who need your encouragement and compassion.
Hints for helpers: your local church, Salvation Army, Red Cross, homeless shelter, HUD Office of Special Needs Assistance Programs (SNAPS).
According to a recent article in the Wall Street Journal, China continues to buy stock in American movie producing companies. It already owns several major theaters on Hollywood Boulevard and elsewhere in the Los Angeles area.
We should ponder a potentially changed future. In addition to making new movies in California, what would happen if the Chinese owners revise some famous old American cinema classics. Then give them more updated titles and foist them on unsuspecting fans in the USA? Consider the new changes:
The Wizard of Beijing, Kommunist Kane, Snow White and the Seven Commissars, King Kung Pao, Rickshaw Driver, A Streetcar Named Dimsum, Wonton With The Wind, High Noonjing, The Macau Falcon, Pride of the Yangtzes, Cool Hand Goog, The Mongolian Candidate, and The Ganzhoufather. And, of course, Good Bye, Mr. Shupian (Chinese word for chips).