Tag Archives: religion

Some Senile Senior Rants On Attaining Age 92

Birthdays, especially for a guy surviving so many decades, should be quietly happy times. But when you’ve lived as many years as I have, it’s more satisfying to gripe out loud. Consider some current idiocy that really pisses me off:

Holey Jeans: During the Depression after my dad died, four-year-old me wore shirts and pants full of holes. My mom got them for free at the Salvation Army. Today, at smart-ass shoppes, the rags sell for $500 each.

Holy Religion: Some guy who lived 2,000 years ago still tells us how to behave. Of course, while praying to him and other guys in the sky, we march out singing. Then we kill everyone who doesn’t believe the long-dead guy is still giving orders.

War: Humans are the most stupid animals on the planet. Every 20 years or so, they willingly follow some crazy-looking dictator into insane self-destruction.

Tobacco And Booze: Slow, stupid suicide for the addict, and murder of their kids forced to grow up inhaling the poison. With booze, at least you enjoy it while eventually drinking yourself to death and/or wrecking your car and family.

Drugs: That sleazy guy who sells the poison to get you high only hopes it won’t kill you. At least until he makes as much money as possible out of your sorry, suicidal butt.

Music: Of course, today’s barking, screaming and cursing remind the listener of similarly creative compositions. How about them hip guys Mozart, Beethoven, Brahms, Berlin and the other old songsters?

Movies And Cable TV: Each dramatic story now is greatly enhanced by unending toilet-mouthed swearing. It’s soooo sophisticated, like 10-year-olds just learning the dirty words at the playground.

U.S. Politics: Since it all began with the great George and Abe, we’ve had some awful choices in presidential candidates. However, we really hit the jackpot … emphasis on pot … with the most recent pair. In the voting booth I had to hold my nose while voting for the least awful of the two totally unqualified, corrupt candidates, and she lost.

An Old Guy’s Creation Drama And All Sequels Since

 


From age six to 17, I lived in an institution for fatherless boys. We attended chapel services daily and twice on Sundays. The Bible stories were pounded into our vulnerable young brains, starting with the Creation. Therefore, I believed God was seriously sincere when he made the universe, Earth and animals. 


By the time I was in my teens, I thought maybe He hadn’t done such a good job when He created that flawed creature called man. Unfortunately, through all the years since, that opinion has proven only too accurate.

Back in the beginning, we were told, first there was light. He then made the great waters and the land. On the next day He added green growth. God then brought in the really big stuff, the sun, moon and all the planets. 

Returning to the Earth project on the fifth and sixth day, God made birds, fish and animals. Then came that couple of brain-challenged beings, who then took a snake’s advice to munch on forbidden fruit.

God rested on the seventh day, but soon had to get back on on the job when ungrateful Adam and Eve misbehaved. The Creator then served history’s first home eviction notice. He must have also stripped them of their clothing, because artists always show them clad only in fig leaves when the landLord repossessed the Garden of Eden.

Once out on their own, Adam and Eve begat a family, who begat more families. Then they formed tribes, and each tribe conjured up beliefs that proclaimed one and only true religion. They angrily declared all other religions evil, and unbelievers needed to be converted and/or killed. Today, humans continue to misuse religion as inspiration for war, terrorism, genocide and other kinds of mindless slaughter.

Despite the idiocy of humanity in those early days, God later created technology, hoping it would take their minds off killing each other. First, there was the telegraph, and it begat radio, and radio begat a box with lighted images on the glass front called television. 

However, as TV screens grow bigger, they make human brains shrink. God must ask, “I gave these lazy, slovenly, beer-swigging slobs dominion over all other creatures. Now they just sit, swig and scratch for hours, while watching unholy visions emitted from that box!”

Because of TV, most humans are no longer capable of doing God’s or any other productive work. They mindlessly stare at endlessly repeated commercials, unreal reality shows, silly sitcoms, unmusical musicians, ranting politicians, lying newscasters and grossly-overpaid athletes. 

Meanwhile, in mankind’s never-ending urge to self-destruct, we’ve managed to progress dramatically from rocks, spears, swords and guns to nuclear weapons. It all must be trying on God’s patience, increasing His frustration with the flawed creature He created.

That patience must be waning as each mass murder, terror attack and war follows without let-up. Could it be that God is about to use His terrible swift sword? Will He soon deliver the final punch line and close the curtain on the tragic human comedy?