Birthdays, especially for a guy surviving so many decades, should be quietly happy times. But when you’ve lived as many years as I have, it’s more satisfying to gripe out loud. Consider some current idiocy that really pisses me off:
Holey Jeans: During the Depression after my dad died, four-year-old me wore shirts and pants full of holes. My mom got them for free at the Salvation Army. Today, at smart-ass shoppes, the rags sell for $500 each.
Holy Religion: Some guy who lived 2,000 years ago still tells us how to behave. Of course, while praying to him and other guys in the sky, we march out singing. Then we kill everyone who doesn’t believe the long-dead guy is still giving orders.
War: Humans are the most stupid animals on the planet. Every 20 years or so, they willingly follow some crazy-looking dictator into insane self-destruction.
Tobacco And Booze: Slow, stupid suicide for the addict, and murder of their kids forced to grow up inhaling the poison. With booze, at least you enjoy it while eventually drinking yourself to death and/or wrecking your car and family.
Drugs: That sleazy guy who sells the poison to get you high only hopes it won’t kill you. At least until he makes as much money as possible out of your sorry, suicidal butt.
Music: Of course, today’s barking, screaming and cursing remind the listener of similarly creative compositions. How about them hip guys Mozart, Beethoven, Brahms, Berlin and the other old songsters?
Movies And Cable TV: Each dramatic story now is greatly enhanced by unending toilet-mouthed swearing. It’s soooo sophisticated, like 10-year-olds just learning the dirty words at the playground.
U.S. Politics: Since it all began with the great George and Abe, we’ve had some awful choices in presidential candidates. However, we really hit the jackpot … emphasis on pot … with the most recent pair. In the voting booth I had to hold my nose while voting for the least awful of the two totally unqualified, corrupt candidates, and she lost.