Will Stupid Humans Finally Trigger Total Extinction?

At first in the cave-to-cave rivalry, they bashed each other to death with rocks. Then they advanced to clubs, knives, swords, spears, arrows and guns. Their holy and/or political reasons for murder evolved from hunting territory, family loyalty, tribal pride, religion, nationhood and conquest.

The historic list of absolute rulers go from Saul, Hannibal, Pharaoh, Caesar, Napoleon, Hitler, Mao, Stalin, Kim Jong-un and, just maybe, Trump. Through it all, the basic urge of humanity is still to destroy other humans by whatever means are available at the time.

While we were still in its primitive state, Saul and Caesar had only spears and swords to use for mass murder. Unfortunately for today’s humans, the current brain-challenged leaders have immensely more effective weapons, literally at their fingertips, that can destroy the planet. So, while threats escalate, will it soon finally come to the familiar final lament: farewell cruel world?

Study Claims Each Extra Daily Booze Costs 15 Minutes Of Life

British lab beancounters recently declared that one alcoholic shot a day is OK, but taking one more can lower life expectancy. They say that second shot adds up to deducting nearly five years from the expected 70 to 75 year lifespan.

Of course, they didn’t realize that too many sober seniors will spend their last years diapered and drooling mindlessly in a nursing home hallway. And those zealous medical zookeepers will keep what’s left of them alive to gather as much money as possible from their families at $5,000 per month.

Hey, I’m 92+, live independently and have a drink or two every night to help me sleep. I’m still healthy enough to hike, swim, photo and blog each day. So, I disagree with the distinguished British scientists and will go on daily drinking healthily as long as possib…possi…pos…p….farewell (hic) cruel (urp) world!

It’s Too Late, But Now Do We All Believe Hillary?

There’s daily hoopla imploding and exploding in the White House and around the world these days. So, maybe all the warnings we heard from Hillary during the presidential campaign should have been heeded.

Hillary’s speeches and campaigning in 2016 almost worked to get her elected, and she actually won in the popular votes. However, the brain-challenged students at the Electoral College flunked their final exam and plunked the Donald into the Executive Mansion. So, Trumpeters, now you have to live (or die) with your election choice.

Daily Express: World Ends On Monday, April 23

The English newspaper reports that Biblical messages and current religious zealots predict that the date was set directly by heavenly sources. So, as a guy who was hoping to celebrate my 93rd birthday in a couple of months, I ponder what to do about it.

Instead of making my usual wise-ass jokes about the idiotic prediction, I’ll sort of go along with it. In reality, consider today’s mentally-challenged world leaders each with an itchy finger on a nuclear button. Nutsy naked Russian boss, Chinese egomaniac who recently promoted himself emperor for life, North Korean tubby with the funny haircut, and, of course, that American twitterer/Syria bomber with an even funnier haircut.

Actually, each of us alive today will inevitably have our world end in death. Therefore, how should we face that final day realistically? The answer is brief. Live and enjoy every moment as if it could be your last one.

American Heart Assn: Sugary Drinks & Foods Will Kill Ya

According to that hearty group of erudite pill pushers, all the sweet stuff contributes to early deaths from heart disease. They claim sweet-toothed people who drink 24 ounces of sugary beverage daily are twice as likely to die from heart disease as those consuming less than one ounce.

I’ve been scarfing candy, cake, pie, sodas, booze and everything else daily with sugar in it for nearly 93 years, and I ain’t dead yet. Of course, I usually add a hunk of healthy fresh fruit on top of my double-dip chocolate sundae just to play it safe.