Attaining Age 90: Noteworthy Nonagenarian Opinions On It

  
It seems in this year of my attaining nine decades, there are well-respected entertainers who share the same celebration. Here they are, and all you young whippersnappers of age 70 or 80 should heed their sage advice:  
Angela Lansbury (October 16, 1925): The great movie, TV and stage actress won a 2015 Tony for her Broadway performance in Blithe Spirit. As long as I can put one foot in front of the other, I will continue to act. Age should not stop you from keeping on.

Dick Van Dyke (December 13, 1925): TV, stage and movie star. Baby Boomers once screamed, ‘Hope I die before I get old.’ That line should be, ‘Hope I die before I feel old.’

Jerry Lewis (March 16, 1926) TV and movie star: I don’t want to be remembered. I want the nice words when I can hear them.

Don Rickles (May 8, 1926) Comedy club star: Young people ask me about my secret of staying around for 90 years. There’s no secret. Every day is a new adventure.

Mel Brooks (June 28, 1926) TV and movie star, writer, director, composer, producer: I’m still a horse that can run. I may not be able to win the Derby, but what do you do when you retire? People retire and they vegetate. They go away and they dry up.

Opinion: $15 An Hour Minimum Raises Inflation, Lowers Buying Power

  
We frequently eat lunch at a slightly scruffy neighborhood café. My spouse’s favorite is the bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich. In 2010, the BLT price was $6. In our our most recent visit, it was $15.
We retirees on limited income certainly realize that inflation has been grinding upward during those years. The BLT example of more than 200% price rise is typical. For example, some nearby housing prices have doubled and tripled.

Now, because of union and other pressures, our state of California, as some other states already have, will impose a minimum wage of $15 an hour. Of course, it will be welcomed by first-job teens, new immigrants and others who must struggle in the lowest pay scales. 

However, their joy will soon be tempered with reality. Restaurants and other employers with low-paid workers will just pass the higher wage costs on to customers. For example, our neighborhood café will increase the BLT price to $20.

Further, to continue competing in the marketplace, the café owner may also decide to cut staff. Of course, this is already happening in American industries. Recently Ford announced it’s opening a major auto manufacturing plant in Mexico. Current minimum hourly wage there is about $4.25.

For years, Apple and other tech firms have been relocating their equipment production to China and other Asian locations. Current minimum wage in China’s capital city of Beijing is about $3 an hour. Many thousands of American workers continue to lose their jobs in this ever-growing outsourcing stampede. 
Now, with the requirement of $15 an hour as our nation’s minimum wage, it will only speed up the job loss process. Concurrently, it will accelerate the already fast-rising inflation. The result will be that those earning minimum wage will win no added buying power from their higher income.

OK To Kill Old People In Merry (Bury) Old England

  
According to a London Daily Mail article, the British government’s medical program now legally permits doctors to ask people a certain question when they reach age 75. Do they want to kick the bucket, shuffle off this mortal coil, assume room temperature and/or sign a “do not resuscitate” order? 
In other words: “Hey, you incontinent old bastard! You’re gonna die soon anyhow, so stop hanging around taking up space, smelling up the room, and draining money your ungrateful kids desperately want!”

I’m 90, and no one, except occasionally my spouse, has considered killing me lately. No attempts have been made since a bunch of Japanese guys tried when I was in the Navy in World War 2. Then, some North Korean guys had the same idea a few years later during the Korean War.

The Bible says the normal lifespan is three score years and ten (that means 70, if you ain’t a Bible reader). The considerate British lawmakers were so veddy, veddy kind to add another five years to their max age for snuffing out oldsters. If I were in England now, their sawbones would compute that I was 15 years late in obeying the new rub-’em-out edict. 

However, if they insisted, I’d offer the Biblical story about a really old guy named Methuselah. Probably just a legend, but the claim was the sexy senior citizen begat all kinds of kids until he hit 900. If he were still around today, he could be the perfect spokesprophet for Viagra.

Let’s take a moment to consider the history of some elderly people who could’ve been exterminated at 75, and the world would’ve been a poorer place for it. For example, Ben Franklin was 81 when he helped write the U.S. Constitution in 1787.

Some show-biz greats were known for their longevity: Bob Hope was entertaining GIs at age 90, and George Burns performed in Las Vegas at 99. Marlene Dietrich also starred in Sin City until age 80.

Queen Elizabeth II and every loyal subject in Great Britain are celebrating her 90th birthday on April 21 this year with all kinds of salutes, music, parades and festive events. World War II English Prime Minister Sir Winston Churchill was 81 when he left office, and served another ten years as a member of Parliament. 

Many actors are still going strong today. Betty White is 94 and continues starring in hit TV shows. Doris Day, 93, maintains her activism in animal rescue programs. Kirk Douglas, 99, performs in a current autobiographical live stage and video documentary. Mel Brooks, 90, has a similar schedule. Angela Lansbury, 90, recently won a Tony Award for her Broadway role in Noel Coward’s “Blithe Spirit.”

Therefore, to all you British and other alleged geratric medical experts, I make a plea. Before you pull the plug, make sure your elderly patient doesn’t have another decade or two to make your world a better one. And don’t forget, if you let ’em live, you’ll be grabbing even more money from your grossly inflated medical fees

Hooray! Hooray! I’ve Made It To 90!

  
My 90th birthday is happening, and I’m still here! Happy and amazed that I’ve survived it all. From my clueless teens, Navy service in two wars, boozing through college, driving while impaired, good/bad relationships and raising a family.

I slaved for more than a quarter century at a job I hated, with people I hated even more. And now, I’m just completing yet another quarter century as a retiree.

Will I spend my remaining time sentimentally looking back on it all? Of course not! To hell with looking back! I look forward to a new quarter century of living as fully as my fading body and brain can hold out. Today, as usual, I took a couple of tw0-mile hikes and swam a dozen pool lengths. I also wrote three articles for online websites. Four, if you count this one.
Therefore, I quote a favorite cliché to be my 90th birthday mantra. As Dylan Thomas wrote, before he drank himself to death at age 38, I bang out his brilliant words on my iMac as loud as my arthritic fingers will allow:

Do not go gentle into that good night. 

Old age should burn and rave at close of day;

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Hey, All Those µƒ∂®ø Commandments Are WRONG!

  Let’s get right to it with the Top Ten oldest clichés your parents, preachers and teachers repeated so damn many times into your tender young ears:

1. Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have done unto you. Fuggetabotit! If you wanna survive today, you actually need to screw unto others before they can do it unto you.
2. Honesty is the best policy: Yeah, ask those Wall Streeters, oil company execs, defense industry billionaires, Hillary/Bill, Donald Trump and other squeaky-clean politicians how they all got so filthy rich. 

3. Don’t run with scissors: You might accidentally trip and design an ass-busting Kardashian kostume.

4. Don’t go to sleep angry: Some schmuck may have short-sheeted your bed, and that will really piss you off all night long!

5. Money is the root of all evil: That’s why I’m always rooting to get my evil hands on some.

6. Ye reap what ye sow: Sounds profound, but I’ve never figured out what it means. Of course, unless its about sowing, growing and reaping your own little old marijuana patch.

7. Honest pay for an honest day’s work: Have you ever attended a session of Congress?

8. A soft answer turneth away wrath: No, a swift poke in the eye and/or kick in the ass is much more effective.

9. Marijuana smoking doesn’t harm your brain: That’s absatively true, and further …er… duh … what did I say?

 10. You can drive, chew, drink, smoke, vape, listen, selfie and talk on your SmartPhone all at the same time. So, Mr. Funeral Director, when are the last rites for the recently-deceased driver?

Celebrities Still Active Today At Age 90 And Beyond

  

In a few months, I’ll celebrate my 25th anniversary since very happily leaving the working day world behind at age 65. That’s when most folks end their careers. On the other hand, many show biz stars just keep entertaining us for as long as we enjoy watching them. Here are seven who continue to work long past their three score years and ten:
Sir Ian McKellen, 93: A just released new movie, “Mr. Holmes”, stars the great British actor as the famed detective in his dotage. Although the sleuth was long retired, the plot follows the elderly Sherlock as he continues to solve mysteries, even if they’re only from his memories.   

Betty White, 93: Today’s most famous active nonagenarian entertainer, Betty this year completed a six-season run of the TV hit, “Hot In Cleveland”. She’s only half-joking when declaring she needs to keep earning money to continue her volunteer work and significant financial donations in animal charities. The star currently hosts the TV weekly Betty White’s Smartest Animals, and has been active on the Greater Los Angeles Zoo Association for the past 45 years.

Marty Allen, 93: Remember his “hello, dere” routine? Already a stand-up comedy star then, he appeared on the same Ed Sullivan TV Show 61 years ago featuring the Beatles’ first American appearance. He still performs in Las Vegas, and was asked recently by USA Today why he keeps working. His response was, “I love entertaining people. What else would I do?”

Carl Reiner, 93: Winner of nine Emmys in his long career, he starred in TV’s “Your Show Of Shows”, as well as writing, directing and acting in “The Dick Van Dyke Show”. Reiner offered positive thoughts about growing old, “Mentally you can do more. You have more thoughts and you have more experience.”

Kirk Douglas, 98: The star of “Spartacus”, “Paths of Glory” and many other great films is still very active. He appears in awards ceremonies, charitable activities and onstage events at the Kirk Douglas Theater in Los Angeles. He suffered a severe stroke in 1996, and still speaks with difficulty. However, his thoughts were still on his profession when he joked, “What does an actor who can’t talk do? Wait for silent pictures to come back?”

Olivia de Havilland, 99: The winner of two Academy Awards may be best known as Melanie in “Gone With The Wind”, as well as the nine action movies she made with Errol Flynn. The latest from the veteran star is that she’s working on her autobiography.

Mel Brooks: OK, so the creator of “Young Frankenstein” and “The Producers” is a mere youthful 89. The multi-talented, multi-award-winning Mel is still very active. This year’s HBO special, “Live at the Geffen”, is his hilarious on-stage remembrances of his many film, TV and Broadway masterpieces. An enjoyable interruption happens when Carl Reiner kabitzes live from the audience. Remember their “2000-Year-Old Man” schtick from the 1960s?

What’s Next: An Awards Show For Best Awards Show?

 

This old ranter is overwhelmed by the constant glut of awards shows on TV, and all the hoopla and glamor that go with them. It seems every time people in Hollywood or Broadway turn on a camera or sing a song, it begats some kind of awards show to recognize the supposedly best of ‘em. 

Therefore, I nominate a new program for the upcoming season, the ultimate awards show to honor the previous season’s best awards show. Why do I dare to make such a preposterous proposal? Possibly, because as a young writer for the now-long-gone Beverly Hills Citizen daily newspaper, I attended the year’s biggie, the 1955 Academy Awards event. It was at Hollywood’s Pantages Theatre, and I craftily wrangled a VIP seat.

When I called the Academy office the previous week, I said I was booking a seat for my boss, the newspaper’s owner, Will Rogers, Jr. Knowing he’d be out of town on Oscar night, I didn’t mention that fact and succeeded in getting the ticket. 

Seated in the audience on one side of me was famed crooner Bing Crosby and on the other, Dolores Hope, wife of the night’s host, Bob Hope. Of course, they didn’t know who the hell I was, the grinning geek in rented tux. 

They assumed I was someone important, and were very friendly. I don’t recall the Oscar winners, but clearly remember my night at the Pantages 60 years ago, surrounded by men in spiffy tuxes and women all gussied up in expensive evening gowns and furs. 

Flash forward to these days, when for all awards shows, the dress code is to cause shock and aaawwww. Instead of formal duds, the hirsute stars and sloppy wannabes strut the red carpet in tattered jeans, low-riders, dayglo shoes, peek-a-boo blouses, backless gowns and other creative costumes. Because awards shows are getting more frequent and outlandish, each attendee must go all out to out-schlock everyone else.

Therefore, I repeat my blindingly brilliant idea: let’s have an annual awards show to honor the most creative awards show of the previous year. And by the way, be sure to mark your calendars so you won’t miss the World Armenian Entertainment Awards on May 10. 

Philadelphia PA: Movie-Making Memories

 

In ads for the 2006 movie, “Annapolis”, the Navy midshipmen were all sharply lined up by an imposing building that resembled the Greek Parthenon. However, in my Navy career I visited the Naval Academy in Annapolis, Maryland, several times and had never seen such a structure there. Then recognition hit me.

I saw it was Founder’s Hall in Girard College, with familiar dorm buildings behind it. The school for fatherless boys in Philadelphia had been my home from age six to 17, and I spent many moments near or in the now-180-year-old building. The makers of the movie had decided that filming at Girard College was cheaper and less restrictive than doing it at the real Naval Academy in Maryland.

Unfortunately, the movie got lousy reviews, never won any awards and had only a brief run on the big screens. I’ve seen it several times on video since, if only to once again view familiar scenes of Founder’s Hall, cadet drill field, athletic venues, school buildings, dorms and other familiar sights.

In the spring of 1951, I was a senior at the Philadelphia Museum College of Art (now University of the Arts), and answered a call for students to sign up as extras for scenes of a big Cecil B. DeMille movie, “The Greatest Show on Earth.” 

When we arrived at the shooting location in South Philly, we were immediately assigned to the rope crew. We helped raise the  Big Top of the famous Ringling Brothers Barnum & Bailey Circus.

We were in several scenes as we pulled the ropes to raise the enormous main tent. When that was done, we had extra scenes in the circus audience and as casual strollers outside gawking at the freak shows. Although we spent a fun day there, we never got to see the big stars, because our footage was just background scenes. 

Of course, possibly the most popular film episode shot in my home town was the original “Rocky” in 1975, as well as its many sequels.  I felt pride as Rocky ran up the steps of the Philadelphia Museum, my college Alma Mater. I also enjoyed the scenes of Rocky’s early morning runs along the Italian Market stalls on Delaware Avenue in South Philly.

Other films made in the city include “Trading Places”, made in 1983. Some scenes from the 1972 musical, “1776” were shot at Independence Hall at 5th and Chestnut Streets. The 1993 movie, “Philadelphia” showed various familiar locations, including City Hall.

In the past century, there have been hundreds of movies filmed in my home town. Producers may right now be somewhere around Broad and Market Streets, scouting locations for the next starring role of the City of Brotherly Love. 

When Facing Your Sunset Years, Keep The Light Bright

 

I won’t name names, but many younger people believe I, now nearly 90, should be hidden away. Maybe vegetating in the hallway of a nursing home drooling on my butt exposed hospital gown and soiling my adult diapers. 

However, thanks to good genes, daily exercise, modest boozing, no smoking and just plain damn good luck, I still consider myself part of functioning society. Not that I was always wise about it. I tried smoking at age 12 to look cool. After an entire pack, my eyes and throat hurt like hell, and I never smoked again. 

At age 18 and just out of Navy boot camp, I once drank myself into unconsciousness and was sick for two days. I limit myself to an occasional brandy these days. Of course, when I was young I considered everyone over 40 ancient, and those over 60 doddering. Age 89? Nobody lives that long!

I see the latest movies … enjoy some, tolerate others and hate a few. As for modern music, I hate all of it. I appreciate the ever-improving electronic doodads. I can cover ears and eyes, and enjoy my kind of music, reading and movies undisturbed at home, on daily hikes, in flight or anywhere else I choose.

After retiring at age 65, I worked daily for ten years at a community center. I helped with old folks’ activities, and worked with youth groups. To my surprise, I enjoyed the teens more. It was because my kids were out on their own. I missed them, and mingling with other teens softened the loneliness.

Do I have any advice for other senior survivors? Enjoy your sunset years by keeping mentally and physically active. And, maybe more important, work at something challenging. 

Volunteer at a health facility, social agency or school. Golf, swim and/or do aerobics. If you’re wheelchair bound, get out of the house as often as possible and enjoy mixing with people, both young and old. For example, many wheelchaired seniors volunteer with wounded vets at military hospitals.

If any whippersnapper criticizes you or makes fun of your efforts to stay active, just say you survived it all and are enjoying your sunset years. It isn’t quite as satisfying as, “Shut the hell up,” but you must remember that we elderly are expected to be dignified at all times.

 

Should Seniors Be Banned From Driving At A Certain Age

 

They keep happening, new laws discriminating against mature drivers. Many state legislatures now require senior vision and/or road testing every year. Some totally ban drivers’ licences at age 75. Is it really necessary?

Hell, no! I’m nearly 90 and still drive. Of course, I’m not as sharp as I was 70 years ago, but I’m still safe and sober. I’d much rather share the road with drivers in their 90s than any drunk-as-a-skunk, pot-addled, texting teenager.

According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, seniors age 65 to 69 have 33 accidents for every 1,000 licensed drivers. Those 70 and over have an accident rate of 30 for every 1,000. The national average for all drivers is 58 accidents per 1,000. For teens, it’s close to 100. 

I know about dangerous teen drivers, because I was once one of them. There were many, many moments when I was lucky I didn’t kill myself or anyone else by my stupid booze-impaired and let’s-race zooming. I still have sad memories of three teenage Navy shipmates who died in a 1945 San Francisco car crash. It happened just weeks after they had returned from World War II sea duty. 

No matter how anyone tries to legislate restrictions, it’s totally unfair discrimination to set some kind of arbitrary age limit where seniors are automatically told to get the hell off the road. Just as there are competent teens who obey all the laws, the great majority of senior drivers are just as safe.

Footnote: I’ve an idea for severe testing of seniors when they reapply. Require them to endure one day of the typical state license bureau hassles, incompetence and delays in the crowded waiting rooms. Anyone who can survive those endless, frustrating hours without causing serious damage really deserves license renewal.